Thursday, Jan. 10, 2013 - Week 15
I cried my eyes out today, I can't believe it. It wasn't because of pain. I finally am emotionally drained about my ankle. Someone I know for the past 2 months has been jokingly pretending to kick, hit, swing things, throw things, etc.. at my ankle. For those past 2 months I've cringed every time, gestured protecting my ankle hand movements, had an annoyed face, and asked kindly to please stop and said it's not nice. As I was leaving, he pretended to kick my ankle, then grabbed my 1 crutch to pretend swing at my ankle. I had to tell him seriously this time, please please stop, I feel scared every time he's around. I am seriously traumatized and do not like or want to have that feeling of being scared I will injure it again. Then I went to my car and cried for an hour. This person broke me today. I am not an angry person nor do I ever get mad. But when I do, I just cry... The fact that this is the second time I broke the same ankle caused by people accidentally hurting me was enough. I can't take it anymore and think this can be the third accident by another person. Especially one that won't stop from me asking to please stop. He may think it's a joke but it's not funny one bit. The fact that he knew it was bothering me made me made me more mad. I felt so disrespected. I have not once cried out of surgery nor the day I got injured and was in excruciating pain. This was it, I realized I was emotionally drained from staying so positive and working so hard to get well soon. In a moment, he takes that positive energy all away by joking around. I couldn't contain myself. Today has been an emotionally tiring day. I had to seriously tell him this time to please stop.
To those of you who are experiencing the same I am and going through healing from an ORIF ankle surgery, it's ok to let go emotionally and tell someone, your friend, family member, or someone close to you how you feel. I actually feel a lot better now that I've expressed my feelings to that person who's bringing me down. Be honest. Just have to get rid of the negative and surround myself with positive people. Since the beginning, I've been very positive, not upset about what happened, and looked forward to each day for more healing. I know this is a process and have accepted it. No point in feeling bad. Just have to keep thinking positively and keep up with the exercises and make goals to reach for. I will get back to my usual self in no time. So far my remedy has been funny shows and movies. This time around, I've turned into a Gleek. Glee is so addicting and sometimes very cheesy haha! Each day is a new day, keep pushing forward!